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Joke thread
- Thread starter mrcunny
- Start date
bakerdave76
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 12 Feb 2009
- Messages
- 4,760
Wanna know the secret to making a woman go mmmmmm all night long?.....................................
Duct tape!
Duct tape!
westdidsburyblue
Well-Known Member
lol
The top 8 things girls should say to men:
1. I'm bored, let's shave me snatch
2. Are you sure you've had plenty to drink?
3. That fart was awesome drop another!
4. Of course I swallow, it's lush
5. No thats ok you watch porn, I'll toss you off after i've done these dishes.
6. Just for a change stick it up me arse.
7. Are you still shagging that girl at work?
8. Marriage? No fucking way!
Sadly, Carlsberg dont do these girlfriends but Thailand does!
1. I'm bored, let's shave me snatch
2. Are you sure you've had plenty to drink?
3. That fart was awesome drop another!
4. Of course I swallow, it's lush
5. No thats ok you watch porn, I'll toss you off after i've done these dishes.
6. Just for a change stick it up me arse.
7. Are you still shagging that girl at work?
8. Marriage? No fucking way!
Sadly, Carlsberg dont do these girlfriends but Thailand does!
BackofJeanette
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 20 Apr 2011
- Messages
- 1,584
David Moyes failed with a late bid to sign the hacksaw that was used to free that protestor , Moyes said it is the sharpest thing he's seen in the everton box all season.<br /><br />-- Thu Feb 02, 2012 11:20 pm --<br /><br />A bloke phones up his local council office and says I have just raped a fat ginger bird . The council woman says You should phone the police to confess. The man replies I don't want to confess, I want you to fix the fuckin lights in the park.
BertTrautmann'sParachute
Well-Known Member
What do you call Santa's children? Subordinate clauses....
A 93 year old man is sat on the kerb crying, a
passerby asks "whats up?" The old man moans "I'm 93,married to a 21 year old swedish underwear model who wants sex twice before breakfast and again at lunch, once before tea and sucks me off twice again at night!"
Passerby says "whats the problem?"
The old man replies "I can't fucking remember where I live!"
passerby asks "whats up?" The old man moans "I'm 93,married to a 21 year old swedish underwear model who wants sex twice before breakfast and again at lunch, once before tea and sucks me off twice again at night!"
Passerby says "whats the problem?"
The old man replies "I can't fucking remember where I live!"
BackofJeanette
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 20 Apr 2011
- Messages
- 1,584
"Johnny," says the teacher, "what's the first thing your father does in the morning?"
"He takes a shit, sir," says Johnny.
"Oh," says the teacher, "and what does your father do for a living?"
"He's a bricklayer," says Johnny.
The teacher thinks, hmm, working class, what else can you expect?
"Bobby," says the teacher, "what's the first thing your father does in the morning?"
"He takes a shit, sir," says Bobby.
"Hmm," says the teacher, "and what does your father do for a living?"
"He's a joiner," says Johnny.
The teacher sees this as confirming his suspicions about the lack of linguistic skills among working class children.
"Freddy," he says. "What does your father do for a living?"
"He's a lawyer, sir" says Freddy.
"And what's the first thing your father does in the morning?"
"He reads The Times, sir," says Freddy.
"Interesting," says the teacher, "and how much time does he spend reading the paper?"
"Not long," says Freddy, "just until he's finished taking a shit."
"He takes a shit, sir," says Johnny.
"Oh," says the teacher, "and what does your father do for a living?"
"He's a bricklayer," says Johnny.
The teacher thinks, hmm, working class, what else can you expect?
"Bobby," says the teacher, "what's the first thing your father does in the morning?"
"He takes a shit, sir," says Bobby.
"Hmm," says the teacher, "and what does your father do for a living?"
"He's a joiner," says Johnny.
The teacher sees this as confirming his suspicions about the lack of linguistic skills among working class children.
"Freddy," he says. "What does your father do for a living?"
"He's a lawyer, sir" says Freddy.
"And what's the first thing your father does in the morning?"
"He reads The Times, sir," says Freddy.
"Interesting," says the teacher, "and how much time does he spend reading the paper?"
"Not long," says Freddy, "just until he's finished taking a shit."