Joke thread

[doots]

Yeah, sure!

I went to the doctors today with a hearing problem.
He said, can you describe the symptoms ?
I said yeah Homers a fat bloke and Marge has blue hair

 

[cheshirecheese]

I went to the doctors today with a hearing problem.
He said, can you describe the symptoms ?
I said yeah Homers a fat bloke and Marge has blue hair

You sir, are an aerosol

 

[aguero93:20]

You sir, are an aerosol

Have you got any lynx to back that up?

 

[doots]

You sir, are an aerosol

Very good Pedro very good.

 

[jimharri]

“But, Holmes, what kind of rock could be formed by deposition and consolidation of mineral and organic material and from the precipitation of minerals from a solution?”

“Sedimentary, my dear Watson. Sedimentary”


Well; it's change from the old "yellow door" version, innit?

 

[crazyg]

Have you got any lynx to back that up?

Don't be such a Brut.

 

[KS55]

Don't be such a Brut.

I'm turning over to Chanel 5.

 

[taleofbluehalves]

I wrote a song about getting my front door lock replaced. There’s a lovely key change at the end.

 

[Mad Eyed Screamer]

What's the connection between the Royal Wedding and Manchester United?

They both cost £300m and bored a nation to death

 

[Zuriblue]

He's making a list
He's checking it twice
He's gonna find out who's naughty or nice
Santa Claus is in contravention of article 4 of the General Data Protection Regulation (EU) 2016/679 #GDPR