Joke thread

[PR7]

Paddy is on his final question with Chris Tarrant for a million pounds,
He only has one life line left, phone a friend...,
‘ hi mate,
Which bird does not make a nest?, a sparrow?, a swallow?, a blackbird? or a cuckoo?
Friend answers ‘cuckoo 100%’
Paddy wins the money,
A week later Paddy phones his mate, ‘how the F did you know that?
Friend replies ‘Paddy are you fn that thick, everyone know it lives in a clock’
:-)

 

[aguero93:20]

Paddy is on his final question with Chris Tarrant for a million pounds,
He only has one life line left, phone a friend...,
‘ hi mate,
Which bird does not make a nest?, a sparrow?, a swallow?, a blackbird? or a cu

Unfortunately halfway through telling this joke PR7 suffered a fatal heart attack.

 

[PR7]

Unfortunately halfway through telling this joke PR7 suffered a fatal heart attack.

Whit you on about??

 

[PR7]

Whit you on about??

Sorry, dunno what happened, pressed post mid typing

 

[Barcon]

Sorry, dunno what happened, pressed post mid typing

Don't argue with him mate, he's mental.

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

My wife was hit by a golf ball while were playing a round, I rushed her to the hospital where the doctor asked me "where did it strike her?"
"Between the first and second holes"
"crikey" he said "that doesn't leave much room to operate!"

 

[city saint]

an old man told me to rub potato on my windscreen and it prevents ice forming.so last night I tried it but must have rubbed too hard as theres a chip on the windscreen

 

[sir baconface]

an old man told me to rub potato on my windscreen and it prevents ice forming.so last night I tried it but must have rubbed too hard as theres a chip on the windscreen

And a King Edward up your arsehole.

 

[city saint]

And a King Edward up your arsehole.

heard it on the radio so thought id share the love

 

[PR7]

What’s the difference between a hearts fan and a trampoline?..

You take your shoes off to jump on the trampoline