Joke thread

[Bill Walker]

Just been to the Doctors. He said "You've got Hypochondria"

I said "Shit. Not that as well"

 

[dronefromsector7G]

 

[dickie davies]

 

[Keep the Faith]

My missus came home tonight and found me in bed with another woman. She said, "Who the f**k is she?"
I replied, "Don't f**king start. It'll be bad enough trying to explain to her who YOU are."

 

[Maccblue]

 

[bumbleblue]

 

[BackofJeanette]

 

[dronefromsector7G]

I thought my wife had Tourette's, but it turns out I really am a ****!

 

[sir baconface]

 

[bluemoon32]

I gave my friend an elephant for his room

"Thanks", he said

I replied "Don't mention it"

 

[JRockBlues]

I hate the people that brought us auto-correct. What a bunch of counts!

 

[Stuuuuuu]

I hate the people that brought us auto-correct. What a bunch of counts!

aunts

 

[sir baconface]

I hate the people that brought us auto-correct. What a bunch of counts!

The guy who invented it died recently. May he Rust In Piss.

 

[Big Ellens Bell]

I did laugh out loud at Bob Mortimer joke pulled from a christmas cracker on a show I just watched.

Doctor: You're suffering from hypochondria.

Patient: Not that as well :-(

View attachment 37765

And they all reds!

 

[RadcliffeRick]

I hate the people that brought us auto-correct. What a bunch of counts!

What a shirt joke!!

 

[BlueMoonRisin’]

I've just been admitted to hospital for food poisoning. Thought i was using a clove of garlic but they said I'd eaten a daffodil bulb.

With good recovery they said i should be out in early spring.

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

 

[Cellarite]

I thought my wife had Tourette's, but it turns out I really am a ****!

I'm currently running a training session and have 4 people concentrating on their e-learning. I've just distracted them all laughing at this, you thundercunt.

 

[mat]

 

[RadcliffeRick]

View attachment 38115

Sorry about that, I thought the glue had set perfectly