Joke thread

Sheffield United might feel particularly hard done to last night over the 'Ghost Goal' they were denied but, apparently due to COVID-19, the PL’s current goal-line tech now requires the ball to be at least 2 metres over the line!!
 
Sheffield United might feel particularly hard done to last night over the 'Ghost Goal' they were denied but, apparently due to COVID-19, the PL’s current goal-line tech now requires the ball to be at least 2 metres over the line!!

Or due to Covid 19 Michael Oliver has to be at least 2 metres away from any decision.
 
Art history joke:

Jesus invites the disciples to a restaurant for the Last Supper. They turn up and ask for a table for 26.

"But there's only 13 of you" says the owner.

"Well, we all sit along one side of the table" says Jesus
 
A woman on the ward is in a coma. Nurses are in her room giving her a sponge bath.
One of them is washing her "private area" and notices that there is a response on the monitor when he touches her.
They go to her husband and explain what happened, telling him, "Crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma."
The husband is sceptical, but they assure him that they'll close the curtains for privacy. Besides it's worth a try. The hubby finally agrees and goes into his wife's room.
After a few minutes the woman's monitor flat-lines... no pulse... no heart rate.
The nurses run into the room.
The husband is standing there, pulling up his trousers and says, "I think she choked."
 

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