Joke thread

Have u seen today's sky news? 3 Cliff Walkers have fallen to their death..

I can't believe they all had the same name.......
 
I was invited to have a threesome with two young attractive ladies last night, It was like winning the lottery. Especially when we all got undressed and I discovered we had six matching balls!!
 
Pregnant Jamaican woman wakes up from a coma in hospital and asks where her bump has gone. Doctor says "it's ok you had twins a boy and a girl. We had to register them, so your brother named them." "Oh my goodness" she says "He's totally thick, what did he call the girl?" "DENISE" replies doc. "Actually thats nice, i like that and what about the boy?"............ "DENEPHEW !!".
 
Little girl lost in center of Liverpool. Nice policeman asks. "What's your Mum like?".
Little girl relies. "Big cocks and Bacardi breezers!"
 
My wife's in a right fuckin' mood!!

Someone's stolen a pair of her pants off the washing line.

She's not bothered about the knickers, she just wants the twelve pegs back.
 
You could just flick the mosquito away, and most people could do that without inflicting damage. Even an unskilled flicker would surely just glance the teste which wouldnt result in any lasting pain.
 
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