Joke thread

[dronefromsector7G]

I've got a new thesaurus and it's shit. In fact it's shit.

 

[chris63]

I went to volunteer at the Tourette's Society but they told me to fuck off.

 

[lewisMCFC]

Burn victims stick together.

 

[ChicagoBlue]

I just bought a Jehovah's Witness advent calendar.

Every time you open a door someone tells you to fuck off.

There are quite a few crackers on here, but that's the first one to make me laugh out loud! Thank you!

 

[Vic]

I've got a new thesaurus and it's shit. In fact it's shit.

Have i missed something?

 

[LWashington]

Have i missed something?

I think his shit thesaurus didn't offer him a better word to replace the second shit.

 

[aguero93:20]

I went to volunteer at the Tourette's Society but they told me to fuck off.

 

[Man_City_Loyal]

Little Johnny has just been toilet trained and decides to use the big toilet like his daddy. He pushes up the seat and balances his little penis on the rim of the bowl.

Just then the toilet seat slams down, and little Johnny lets out a scream.

His mother comes running to find Johnny hopping round the room clutching his genitals and howling. He looks up at her with his little tear stained face and sniffles, ‘K-k-k-k-kiss it better mummy.’


Little Johnny's mother shouts, ‘Don't start your father's shit with me!’

Haha chuckled at this.

 

[chrishull]

I went to volunteer at the Tourette's Society but they told me to fuck off.

I took my mrs to the doctors to get her seen for her Tourette's.

Turns out she's fine and I actually am a fucking ****.

 

[york away to this!]

So, he was warming up and I just said to him "sit down again yaya" bwahahahaha....