This girl went to the doctors with a chesty cough.
The doctor got his stethoscope out, put it to her breasts and said "Right....big breaths"
She replied "Yeth, and I'm not thixteen yet"
Woman goes into a dry cleaners, pulls a dress out of a bag and says
"Can you get these stains out for me"
The woman behind the counter didn't quite catch what she said, so she asked
"Come again"
Woman says, "No it's salad cream"
At my hospital appointment this morning, the consultant told me I had to loose some weight before I have surgery.
He said, 'Don't eat anything fatty'.
I said, 'you mean like butter and cheese?'
He said, 'No, fatty, I mean don't eat anything!'
