Joke thread

[Uwe`s Grandad]

I've just met a chinese drug addict.
He said "Have you seen my cocaine?"

I said "Not since he starred in Zulu"

Not a lot of people know that :-)

 

[Xhavenjoe]

Chinaman rings the dentist.
"I'd like to make an appointment for this afternoon"

Dentist: "Two thirty."

"Yes that's why I'm ringing you"

 

[Sheriff Fatman]

Chinaman rings the dentist.
"I'd like to make an appointment for this afternoon"

Dentist: "Two thirty."

"Yes that's why I'm ringing you"

You are Mike McLean and I claim my£5.

 

[Xhavenjoe]

You are Mike McLean and I claim my£5.

Do you accept the yuan.

 

[BlueMoonRisin’]

Chinaman rings the dentist.
"I'd like to make an appointment for this afternoon"

Dentist: "Two thirty."

"Yes that's why I'm ringing you"

That joke was about before chairman Mao.

 

[Uwe Already]

Chinaman rings the dentist.
"I'd like to make an appointment for this afternoon"

Dentist: "Two thirty."

"Yes that's why I'm ringing you"

another opportunity to use my “that’s razy laceism” line (Benny Hill? Definitely Richard Osman), less effective in these times I fear...

 

[sir baconface]

I've just met a chinese drug addict.
He said "Have you seen my cocaine?"

I said "Not since he starred in Zulu"

Not a lot of people know that :-)

Except those who’ve read the joke on here before.

 

[DazWA9]

Except those who’ve read the joke on here before.

And you've missed the irony in his post entirely.

 

[sir baconface]

And you've missed the irony in his post entirely.

Ah, we have a Billion Dollar Brain in our midst.

 

[KS55]

Ah, we have a Billion Dollar Brain in our midst.

"Now listen to my voice, listen to my voice"

 

[KS55]

That joke was about before chairman Mao.

Ming dynasty.

 

[crazyg]

Ming dynasty.

Was that Ming the Merciless?

 

[sir baconface]

That joke was about before chairman Mao.

Ming dynasty.

Did you know Ming later changed his username to @oakiecokie ?

 

[Blue_eyes]

Was that Ming the Merciless?

My favourite version,he was Ming the Perverted.

 

[oakiecokie]

Did you know Minge later changed his username to @oakiecokie ?

Amended !!

 

[Paulpowersleftfoot]

Saw a golf buggy parked in a disabled bay this morning and thought to myself I wonder what his handicap is ?

 

[Big Swifty]

I am dismayed by the indifferent response to my "Christmas Day in the Workhouse" a page or two back.

That's the last time I spend half an hour typing out 14 stanzas.

 

[Zubrman]

I am dismayed by the indifferent response to my "Christmas Day in the Workhouse" a page or two back.

That's the last time I spend half an hour typing out 14 stanzas.

Good.

 

[KS55]

I am dismayed by the indifferent response to my "Christmas Day in the Workhouse" a page or two back.

That's the last time I spend half an hour typing out 14 stanzas.

Well,
The last line of each stanza failed to rhyme,
So it was not worth even a pound note.

 

[Blue_eyes]

One for all you feminists out there.............they say a womans work is never done................maybe thats why they get paid less than men?