Joke thread

Lavinda Past said:
Anyone got an update on that bloke who had an accident in the Nestle factory yet?
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Tuearts right boot said:
Waiting for the doctors report, will know some time after eight.
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For years the guy had suffered a hearing loss. Ever since, as a child, he got a peanut stuck in his ear. After all the chocolate washed over him it came out a treat!
 
Lavinda Past said:
@dickie davies ....

Sad news at the Nestle factory today when a member of staff was seriously injured when a pallet of chocolate fell more than 50 feet and crushed him underneath...

He tried in vain to attract attention, but every time he shouted "The milky bars are on me" everyone cheered.

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;-)
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hammocity said:
After they cheered everyone left the factory on their bike's which were obviously outside.
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Not all of them. Only those without tickets for the Titanic.
 
Lavinda Past said:
A pack of Hell's Angels are riding when they see a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they stop.

The big burly leader, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to commit suicide," she says.

While he doesn’t want to appear insensitive, he also doesn’t want to miss an opportunity, so he asks, "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?"

She does, and it is a long, deep, lingering kiss.

After she's finished, the biker says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I’ve ever had... You're so beautiful, you could be famous. Why are you committing suicide?"

"Because my parents don't like me dressing up like a girl…"
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When I first heard this 20 years ago, the guy shagged her.

I can only conclude that morals have improved in the meantime and bikers have developed more empathy.
 
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