Joke thread

[Cheese Butty]

Tonights Self Harmers anonymous group has had to be cancelled due to staff cuts.

 

[Chev Chelios]

What's the difference between a catholic priest and a spot?


At least a spot waits till you're a teenager to cum on your face.

 

[york away to this!]

Tonights Self Harmers anonymous group has had to be cancelled due to staff cuts.

hurrah! - not sure why, though this pathetic, purile humour made me chuckle...

 

[mammutly]

Tonights Self Harmers anonymous group has had to be cancelled due to staff cuts.

hurrah! - not sure why, though this pathetic, purile humour made me chuckle...

Self Harmers Anonymous Group


SHAG!

I get it. Hahaha

 

[peoffrey]

Comedian: Hello everyone! I'm a Schizophrenic.
Heckler: Well fuck off then... both of ya.

 

[Dogtanian]

My mate told me that I just don't understand irony.

Which was ironic because we were at a bus stop at the time.

 

[OABAAB]

My mate told me that I just don't understand irony.
Which was ironic because we were at a bus stop at the time.

Pissing myself
Best joke of the thread!

 

[Blue Mist]

What's the difference between a catholic priest and a spot?


At least a spot waits till you're a teenager to cum on your face.

Brilliant

 

[2sheikhs]

A priest and a Hindu are making toast. The priest exclaims "look there is an image of jesus in my margarine!" The Hindu replies " I can't believe its not Budda!

 

[Phil Meup]

A priest and a Hindu are making toast. The priest exclaims "look there is an image of jesus in my margarine!" The Hindu replies " I can't believe its not Budda!

Love it!
& can tell it the kids!

 

[southstand117]

3 united fans walk into a bar - a glory hunter, a cockney and a **** - that was just the first one

 

[fredmont]

Two old folk meet and about to have sex for the first time.

Woman says as she is half undressed ' I forgot to mention, I've got acute angina'

Bloke says ' thank god for that coz your tits are horrible.'

 

[jimharri]

My mate just texted me from Glastonbury. He said the entire front row of the Rolling Stones gig got taken to hospital after inhaling copious amounts of deep heat, ralgex and werthers originals.

 

[BimboBob]

My mate just texted me from Glastonbury. He said the entire front row of the Rolling Stones gig got taken to hospital after inhaling copious amounts of deep heat, ralgex and werthers originals.

Did he text you a joke to go along with this news?

 

[davymcfc]

My mate just texted me from Glastonbury. He said the entire front row of the Rolling Stones gig got taken to hospital after inhaling copious amounts of deep heat, ralgex and werthers originals.

Did he text you a joke to go along with this news?

Now that was funny

 

[Phil Meup]

My mate just texted me from Glastonbury. He said the entire front row of the Rolling Stones gig got taken to hospital after inhaling copious amounts of deep heat, ralgex and werthers originals.

Did he text you a joke to go along with this news?

Now that was funny

But a little harsh...

 

[BigJoe#1]

Tonights Self Harmers anonymous group has had to be cancelled due to staff cuts.

And the clairvoyants meeting has had to be postponed due to unforeseen circumstances.

 

[Zuriblue]

A German walks into a bar and asks for a martini. The bartender asks "dry?", he replies "nein, nur eins"

 

[blue b4 the moon]

A German walks into a bar and asks for a martini. The bartender asks "dry?", he replies "nein, nur eins"

You got no chance here mate.

 

[jimharri]

My mate just texted me from Glastonbury. He said the entire front row of the Rolling Stones gig got taken to hospital after inhaling copious amounts of deep heat, ralgex and werthers originals.

Did he text you a joke to go along with this news?

Fair point.