Phil Meup
Well-Known Member
Went to the doctors, telling him I kept seeing stars.
'You can take a picture' he said, 'but I charge for autographs....'
'You can take a picture' he said, 'but I charge for autographs....'
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Joke thread
- Thread starter mrcunny
- Start date
Alan Harper's Tash
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 12 Dec 2010
- Messages
- 60,250
The FA are currently investigating match fixing at MUFC
They claim no team can actually get that shit so quickly.
They claim no team can actually get that shit so quickly.
ColinBellsjockstrap
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 23 Dec 2009
- Messages
- 8,484
Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.
The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize. “Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me”, she told him.
“Oh, no, I'll be alright. I'll be fine in a few minutes”, the man replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands there at his groin. At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside she administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, “How does that feel”?
“Feels great”, he replied; “but I still think my thumb's broken!”
The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize. “Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me”, she told him.
“Oh, no, I'll be alright. I'll be fine in a few minutes”, the man replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands there at his groin. At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside she administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, “How does that feel”?
“Feels great”, he replied; “but I still think my thumb's broken!”
Cellarite
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 12 Jan 2010
- Messages
- 26,007
- Team supported
- Manchester City
The African Dyslexia Society have laid a wreath at the Nissan Main Dealer.
JoeMercer'sWay
Well-Known Member
citykev28 said:The African Dyslexia Society have laid a wreath at the Nissan Main Dealer.
like it.
BimboBob
Well-Known Member
Someone has just said to me "What's brown and stiff". I thought these Nelson Mandela jokes were getting a bit out of hand until I realised that he was talking about Tom Daley's cock.
happy daze
Well-Known Member
My small grandson managed to get himself lost when I took him to the trafford centre.
He approached one of the uniformed security people and said “I’ve lost my grandad”.
The guard said “what’s his name?”
“Grandad”
The guard tried again “What’s he like?”
The little shit hesitated for a moment and then replied,
“Asbach brandy and women with big tits.”
He approached one of the uniformed security people and said “I’ve lost my grandad”.
The guard said “what’s his name?”
“Grandad”
The guard tried again “What’s he like?”
The little shit hesitated for a moment and then replied,
“Asbach brandy and women with big tits.”
foetus
Well-Known Member
22 posts in over 5 years. You belong in the thread for quiet people ;)Barrablue said:There are some horrible b*stards about. I heard a cat crying outside, so I opened my door and saw 4 blokes in Man United shirts playing football with it.
I was just about to call the RSPCA until the cat went 1-0 up.