Itchy and scratchy

[Sheriff Fatman]

HaHaHa, has to be the most bizarre post i've seen for a long time.

One of the greatest albums ever. Not a bad track on it.

 

[lazerblue]

 

[stonerblue]

One of the greatest albums ever. Not a bad track on it.

You're not wrong Sheriff

 

[Tanzeylee]

 

[normskih]

Worms mate,get to the drs

Sounds like it to me too. Change your undies every day and night. Have a bath every morning in case you've been scratching, or shower. If you can change your bedding too. Give your mattress a good vacuuming too. Take Kaz's advice, get to the Dr's.

 

[Goats left knee]

I’ve rubbed a load of fuscidin cream I found in the med cabinet all over. It’s worth a try. Seen it on one of the suggestions as something that will clear..

 

[Tuearts right boot]

Thanks for all the suggestions, even the funny ones

Dont think any were funny to be fair, all sounded pretty serious to me....I personally wouldn't be buying any LPs as it stands.

 

[doots]

It sounds like you have poo shoot crabs.
Sprinkle brown sugar around your nether regions before bed for a week.
It won't kill them but it will rot their teeth.

 

[roy.or.r]

Are you getting blood in stool? If yes, then maybe they are piles. If not, then I think it's most probably worms.

 

[big gaz]

Worms mate,get to the drs

Or go fishing !!!

 

[SkyBlueTX]

You did the right thing by coming on a football forum instead of going to the doctor. Besides City, this forum is a great source of information on medical advice, home repair, relationships, crypto investments...all manner of things.

 

[Mazzarelli's Swiss Cheese]

You did the right thing by coming on a football forum instead of going to the doctor. Besides City, this forum is a great source of information on medical advice, home repair, relationships, crypto investments...all manner of things.

He's done the right thing. There must be plenty of so called medical professionals on here that are conspicuous by their silence - obviously unable to offer better advice than that already offered.

 

[bluemooners09]

You did the right thing by coming on a football forum instead of going to the doctor. Besides City, this forum is a great source of information on medical advice, home repair, relationships, crypto investments...all manner of things.

It's obvious he has read the- Do you piss in the sink? Do you shave your balls? Do you use a bidet? threads and decided his fate lies here. Fucking trooper that lad.

 

[davyhulme blue]

I’ve rubbed a load of fuscidin cream I found in the med cabinet all over. It’s worth a try. Seen it on one of the suggestions as something that will clear..

Should be fucibet cream not fuscudin mate ,stops the fungal infection around your ring get to the docs .

 

[SkyBlueTX]

Back to problem solving. Whatever it is probably doesn’t like intense heat. I’m thinking open flame is an option here.

 

[dronefromsector7G]

Back to problem solving. Whatever it is probably doesn’t like intense heat. I’m thinking open flame is an option here.

I think that’s a tad OTT. How about smearing chilli powder on the affected area.

 

[Summerbuzz]

You did the right thing by coming on a football forum instead of going to the doctor. Besides City, this forum is a great source of information on medical advice, home repair, relationships, crypto investments...all manner of things.

A more wretched hive of scum and villany you will not find.

Last time I asked a semi-serious question I got three pages solid of taking the piss.

 

[Deleted member 77198]

Typical male.. yes I prob should have been to a docs a while ago...
since the summer.. I thought initially I had one hot curry too many on the holidays.. but I am itchy around the private’s and bottom at night (have been a bit of a night time butt scratcher for years, but aren’t all men?)
Anyway I’ve tried all chemist creams,lotions, exema etc, sudocrem, tea tree oil. But I’m at my wits end! Gets itchy at night, a slight burning feel like I must scratch tiny spots but it ends up with red, slightly broken scratch marks all around by not including the private’s.
has anyone had this and any ideas on how to clear it? It’s not like i don’t shower daily. Never had any health problems either. not looking for jokes, just wonder if anyone here has any advice.. been through it

Sounds like joggers itch mate.

Had it a few times, actually got it now!

Get some athletes foot cream or spray and get it on the itchy bits about three times a day for 5-7 days.

Wash your hands all the time. Have about three showers a day, keep everywhere clean as fuck.

Do not scratch it with bare hands, it will spread behind the ears or under the armpit.

 

[Deleted member 77198]

Just hate the thoughts of a docs and hopping up on the bed. Haha

My Dad had a rash in his arse crack once. The doctor asked if she could have a look (meaning for him to take his pants off behind the screen and hip up on the bed) but as she stood up he’d already pulled his kecks down and bent over!

 

[Bluechipblue]

I'm no doctor, but it sounds like balloon knot impetigo to me. Turpentine Substitute, wire wool and an old sock to bite down on is the only cure. Good luck.