I miss it a lot and don't miss it at all. I was the life and soul of the party when I used to drink, no problem chatting to anyone really bubbly, could crack onto loads of birds easy. Problem is I never wanted the party to end I'd stay on it until I was skint or unconscious. I used to go home from a night out stay up wired till the pubs opened back up have a shower and get straight back on it nobody would even know I hadn't been to sleep because the beak kept me appearing sober. Done a good few years without it now, barring a few occasions where I've had a few drinks but nowhere near how I used to get at it, probably less than 5 times over the last 4 or 5 years. Feel great physically, always in the gym, healthy as shit, don't smoke cigarettes or do cocaine anymore but my life is boring as fuck I go to work train for 2 hours and go home to watch telly or read a book alone or for a walk alone, might see my old friends once or twice every few months but I just feel like I'm putting on an act a lot of the time for their benefit. I'm angry all the time get massive anxiety about going out and socialising haven't had a shag in ages. Proper double edged sword. I had to stop as it was killing me, I couldn't hack the come downs and was sick of spending every penny on the sauce but I'm wondering when I'll start to see the benefits. I literally live for my holidays out of this fucking shithole the only time I feel human really. Get all the compliments on my new appearance and how well I'm supposedly doing but I don't feel like that at all. Feel like an empty shell to be quite honest. Tried anti depressants and they did fuckall tried therapy and it did fuckall. Guess it's just the burden some of us have to bear after you take the short route to happiness for so long and fry all your neurons to bits.
Didn't really mean that to get so heavy but there you go lol. I'm actually in a decent mood today aswell haha