Ever broken any bones?

[mcmanus]

Course I have because I'm fucking daft.

Playing football on the local rec the ball goes on a roof. So I go round the back of the building, find a way to climb up and tossed the ball back down. Because I'm a lazy twat I couldn't be arsed going back all the way around so stupidly decided just to jump off the roof. The tiled roof was piss wet through so I just slid down whilst clawing to get some grip then shot off the end and CRASH. Rather than help me every **** was pissing themselves laughing.

End result broken wrist. I timed it perfectly though as we were about to do six weeks of orienteering for PE at school. Fuck that I just played wallie with an even lazier kid who just flatly refused to run.

 

[Kevblue]

Broke my ankle in dublin a few years back, slipped on ice. Broke the fibula and had to get a rod and plate inserted and also tore the ligaments on the inside of the ankle, still gives me bother the bastard

 

[BlueBearBoots]

Course I have because I'm fucking daft.

Playing football on the local rec the ball goes on a roof. So I go round the back of the building, find a way to climb up and tossed the ball back down. Because I'm a lazy twat I couldn't be arsed going back all the way around so stupidly decided just to jump off the roof. The tiled roof was piss wet through so I just slid down whilst clawing to get some grip then shot off the end and CRASH. Rather than help me every c**t was pissing themselves laughing.

End result broken wrist. I timed it perfectly though as we were about to do six weeks of orienteering for PE at school. Fuck that I just played wallie with an even lazier kid who just flatly refused to run.

Your stories feckin kill me :)

 

[mcmanus]

Course I have because I'm fucking daft.

Playing football on the local rec the ball goes on a roof. So I go round the back of the building, find a way to climb up and tossed the ball back down. Because I'm a lazy twat I couldn't be arsed going back all the way around so stupidly decided just to jump off the roof. The tiled roof was piss wet through so I just slid down whilst clawing to get some grip then shot off the end and CRASH. Rather than help me every c**t was pissing themselves laughing.

End result broken wrist. I timed it perfectly though as we were about to do six weeks of orienteering for PE at school. Fuck that I just played wallie with an even lazier kid who just flatly refused to run.

Your stories feckin kill me :)

Not stories fucking true tales. You wanna hear the proper good laugh tales from the older blokes I know, they are truly fucking nuts. I had my clothes thrown into the sea once, they threw one another into the sea 300m from the shore. Swimmmmmmmmm. hahahaha

 

[bammy blue]

Broke my nose, a couple of ribs, most of my fingers, left arm, left knee cap and my right ankle twice..... Mostly playing sport and my knee cap in a car crash..... Friend of mine broke his pelvis and had multiple fractures in his face falling over his landing at home pissed the other month, although he told the paramedics his wife pushed him!

 

[toby]

1 finger ( trapped in a taxi door )
3 toes (slipping down the stairs )
1 wrist (falling off a step whilst talking coming out of a pub sober)
2 ribs ( tripping over a Kerb I didn't see after a night match )

 

[andyhinch]

1 finger ( trapped in a taxi door )
3 toes (slipping down the stairs )
1 wrist (falling off a step whilst talking coming out of a pub sober)
2 ribs ( tripping over a Kerb I didn't see after a night match )

One of my directors once broke the bank mangers hand in a car door, how he laughed(not Ray)

 

[toby]

1 finger ( trapped in a taxi door )
3 toes (slipping down the stairs )
1 wrist (falling off a step whilst talking coming out of a pub sober)
2 ribs ( tripping over a Kerb I didn't see after a night match )

One of my directors once broke the bank mangers hand in a car door, how he laughed(not Ray)

I saw Ray today with his wife Altrincham retail park spooky


Trapping my finger really did hurt I ran into the house and the heat hit me and I passed out lol . Next thing I know Pete's sat on my chest slapping my cheeks !!!! I shouted I am going to be sick he then tried to drag me up the stair with my trapped hand !! You couldn't make it up with Dr Kildare !

 

[Tanzeylee]

Both ankles 6 times, 3 times each ankle 5 times playing footy, and the other jumping out of a girls bedroom window(her parents came home early), both sets of knuckles once on someone's head the other on a wall when I missed someone's head, and cheek bone after a wild west style kick off in turners bar in the Falklands...

Update, broke me right ankle again, playing cricket this time, on a shit outfield, I'm such a spacker...

 

[york away to this!]

metatarsal - kicking a wall at school in playground footy
little finger - trapped in door at school by "friend" slamming the door on me
left radius - rope swing over a large dip in lymm, the swing broke, I fell
middle right hand finger - playing in nets and a rather too enthusiastic boot after I had collected the ball
jaw - haymaker from some arsehole in the red cow, knutsford
right radius - skateboarding fall off a ramp at college in l'pool
skull - skateboarding fall in a concrete bowl at college
thumb - footy boot at college
right big toe - mother in law's picture frame when moving in with the new mrs This!, hanging twine snapped.

I once plunged the prong of a gardening fork straight through my foot at the allotment when I was a kid - no breaks but couldn't find the "Impailment" thread...