Favourite lines from Viz

[Helmet Cole]

'Piss up a rope fuckstick'

Possibly the finest expletive ever. It was either rude kid or rude parrot - can't remember which.

 

[-dabz-]

From memory, a star letter off the letters page....

My granddad was the best drummer in the world. He used to practice 18 hours a day, seven days a week, every day of the year.
Morning, noon, and night he'd be banging away with his sticks, so dedicated he was, he didn't even have a set of drums, preferring instead to play on old biscuit tins, bottles, anything he could lay his hands on.
He was still playing right up till the moment he died aged 86 when my grandmother stabbed him in the neck with a fork.

 

[Robster48]

Whilst driving along the other day I thought I saw Irish Pop legend Van Morrison in my rear view mirror. What a fool I felt when I remembered that things appear reversed in mirrors. It was actually a Morrisons van.

 

[Mustard Dave]

'Piss up a rope fuckstick'

Possibly the finest expletive ever. It was either rude kid or rude parrot - can't remember which.

It was Rude Kid:

I think you may be confusing him with 'Bertie Blunt - His Parrot's a C**t'.

Edit - I tried to add a link, but the swear-filter doesn't like a particular word in the URL. If you Google it, the full strip is on the Viz archive.

 

[ashtonblue]

The one scene Victor Mature gags were always my Fave....

"Do you fancy getting pissed Vic?"

"No I don't think so"

Simple but genius lol

 

[Bluemanc100]

My mate got a phrase into the Viz dictionary... "Bathroom Broadband" - The band of shit you leave after dropping the kids off at the pool

 

[johnny on the spot]

[bigimg]http://viz.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/Screen-Shot-2014-10-29-at-10.46.36.png[/bigimg]

 

[Lancet Fluke]

Pick the bones out of that one, **** bubble!

 

[Aphex]

[bigimg]http://i60.tinypic.com/35171oj.jpg[/bigimg]

 

[big gaz]

I've had a shit day at work and theres another Viz topic on bluemoon, thanks guys just stopped laughing.

There is a pic of the nut clad cleaner on the thread from a few years ago.

 

[dan_bo]

[bigimg]http://i60.tinypic.com/35171oj.jpg[/bigimg]

Thats dark as fuck.

 

[lloydie]

[bigimg]http://i60.tinypic.com/35171oj.jpg[/bigimg]

Thats dark as fuck.

Definitely Rupert Murdoch in the clown suit...

 

[billfromthehill]

You'll be beating them off with a shitty stick haha

 

[roman totale]

[bigimg]http://i60.tinypic.com/35171oj.jpg[/bigimg]

Thats dark as fuck.

The same contributors do the Drunken Bakers strip which has been running for the last 10 years or so and is consistently black as hell and brilliant.

 

[johnny on the spot]

Dunken Bakers archive here: <a class="postlink" href="http://viz.co.uk/category/drunken-bakers/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://viz.co.uk/category/drunken-bakers/</a>

And yes, they are dark, bleak and depressing as fuck. But probably one strip reliably propping up Viz these days.

[bigimg]http://viz.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/024_viz207_bakers.jpg[/bigimg]

 

[Aphex]

Drunken Bakers are brilliant.

[bigimg]http://i58.tinypic.com/6f2iyt.jpg[/bigimg]

 

[Nascent Blues]

I remember this one caused a bit of an outrage!

Not sure if it has been covered but the follow up to this was hilarious. The gypsies sued them so they printed an apology which went something like this .........

Last month we printed a headline Thieving Gypsy Bastards, we should not have used the headline Thieving Gypsy Bastards, they are not Thieving Gypsy Bastards and we should never have called them Thieving Gypsy Bastards. We will not call them Thieving Gypsy Bastards again.

It was framed as a 'Here's your cut out and keep thieving gypsy bastard apology.' Fucking class.

 

[johnny on the spot]

[bigimg]http://viz.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/050.jpg[/bigimg]

 

[Elbow beards]

Does anyone remember 'Barry the cat' a kid that dressed up like a super hero but was shit

 

[Carstairs]

[bigimg]http://viz.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/Screen-Shot-2015-03-29-at-17.53.29.png[/bigimg]