General / Mental Health Support Thread

[Damocles]

I'm on a run of bad luck at the moment.

Thing is, I had a major run of bad luck last year all in a very short time period. From really huge and life changing things to deaths and illnesses and all sorts. Even to the point where I didn't win a bet for about 3 months.

When the New Year came, you think to yourself that that is all over now and it's a fresh start and it has been to some degree. But I'm on a run of mini bad luck again, where small things aren't going my way. I lost out on a contract that I should have won. I've broken my phone and tried to have the new one delivered 3 times now which means I'm uncontactable. I dropped my favourite mug and smashed it. My guitar strong snapped. They stopped serving my favourite pint in my local. Obviously City's ongoing troubles. Nothing bad or horrendous specifically.

The thing I'm finding a bit hard at the moment though is that when you assign bad events to "bad luck" you come up with banalities such as "you're on a bad streak" and I'm connecting all these things together with what happened last year so it's all "one big streak of bad luck". Then you start asking questions about why God or the Universe or fate or whatever hates you so badly and you feel hard done to. I've got myself into a strange negative feedback loop where I'm ignoring anything that happens that's good and focusing on the "bad luck" and talking myself into corners so becoming timid in action.

Need to break the cycle. Don't suppose anyone has any lottery numbers do they?

 

[Saddleworth2]

I'm on a run of bad luck at the moment.

Thing is, I had a major run of bad luck last year all in a very short time period. From really huge and life changing things to deaths and illnesses and all sorts. Even to the point where I didn't win a bet for about 3 months.

When the New Year came, you think to yourself that that is all over now and it's a fresh start and it has been to some degree. But I'm on a run of mini bad luck again, where small things aren't going my way. I lost out on a contract that I should have won. I've broken my phone and tried to have the new one delivered 3 times now which means I'm uncontactable. I dropped my favourite mug and smashed it. My guitar strong snapped. They stopped serving my favourite pint in my local. Obviously City's ongoing troubles. Nothing bad or horrendous specifically.

The thing I'm finding a bit hard at the moment though is that when you assign bad events to "bad luck" you come up with banalities such as "you're on a bad streak" and I'm connecting all these things together with what happened last year so it's all "one big streak of bad luck". Then you start asking questions about why God or the Universe or fate or whatever hates you so badly and you feel hard done to. I've got myself into a strange negative feedback loop where I'm ignoring anything that happens that's good and focusing on the "bad luck" and talking myself into corners so becoming timid in action.

Need to break the cycle. Don't suppose anyone has any lottery numbers do they?

I'm sorry to hear that mate and I can empathise. I have had similar in the last few months and find it very difficult to break out of it. In my case overthinking is not helpful, amongst the major problems like my daughters marriage failing, I stress about really stupid small stuff. I can't even go fishing which normally helps because its the off season. I don't believe in luck though, either good or bad. Shit happens and when it does I try and deal with it as well as possible- sometimes better than others. What does help me is writing lists - seems simple but a to do list helps get the small stuff out of my head. When things were at their bleakest, I wrote a list of positives that I went back to and added to and read regularly. That seemed to help too.
I know I haven't helped in any way but at least you know you're not alone. :-)
Hope things improve for you quickly.

 

[Dr Jacoby]

I’ve been struggling a bit since I made the decision to wean myself off Duloxetine. I think it will ultimately prove to be the right decision but it’s a difficult drug to come off.

It hasn’t helped that, in the space of a few days, my degu died (it might sound absurd to most but I’m on the spectrum and pets mean the world to me), it looks like my relationship of over two and a half years is coming to its end and I’ve had to go down a band with the NHS to continue working from home.

I turn 35 in May but I haven’t really matured since a traumatic incident transpired when I was 16. I am invariably stuck in ‘freeze’ mode and it concerns me how much of my life I’ve lost to chronic dissociation. Medication and therapy doesn’t seem to help me.

 

[ob]

I'm sorry to hear that mate and I can empathise. I have had similar in the last few months and find it very difficult to break out of it. In my case overthinking is not helpful, amongst the major problems like my daughters marriage failing, I stress about really stupid small stuff. I can't even go fishing which normally helps because its the off season. I don't believe in luck though, either good or bad. Shit happens and when it does I try and deal with it as well as possible- sometimes better than others. What does help me is writing lists - seems simple but a to do list helps get the small stuff out of my head. When things were at their bleakest, I wrote a list of positives that I went back to and added to and read regularly. That seemed to help too.
I know I haven't helped in any way but at least you know you're not alone. :-)
Hope things improve for you quickly.

Same with us. Father in law in hospital before Christmas. Our flat flooded (twice) in a week so we had to spend 11 nights in hotel over New Year due to no water at home. Had to get hall floor replaced after tank replaced. 3 weeks ago I was diagnosed with pneumonia and off work sick. Recently started going for walks again to build strength up again. Been long long January and hopefully February will be better

 

[Lauz9888]

I’ve been struggling a bit since I made the decision to wean myself off Duloxetine. I think it will ultimately prove to be the right decision but it’s a difficult drug to come off.

It hasn’t helped that, in the space of a few days, my degu died (it might sound absurd to most but I’m on the spectrum and pets mean the world to me), it looks like my relationship of over two and a half years is coming to its end and I’ve had to go down a band with the NHS to continue working from home.

I turn 35 in May but I haven’t really matured since a traumatic incident transpired when I was 16. I am invariably stuck in ‘freeze’ mode and it concerns me how much of my life I’ve lost to chronic dissociation. Medication and therapy doesn’t seem to help me.

I'm sorry for the loss of your pet.

 

[PinkFinal]

 

[dennishasdoneit]

Hi mate. Sorry to hear you've been unwell. I fucked up with the timings. Buzzkocks came on at 7.40 and did a short set which I missed completely. By all accounts they were great. They're playing there again in May and I will definitely be going then.

Lizzie and the Banshees came on at 9 and played for 1 hour 35. They were fantastic. Well worth seeing. They only played 3 songs that I didn't know so that was a bonus. It was completely sold out too. The sound was spot on and really did sound like the originals if you closed your eyes. Big shout out to the drummer who almost out-Budgied Budgie!

I've seen Lizzie and the Banshees a few times now , always a cracking gig . I'd heard a rumour ( Arabian Knights ) ths6t the group were splitting or had already done so.....hope it " was just a rumour " ; )

 

[hallsteve62]

I've seen Lizzie and the Banshees a few times now , always a cracking gig . I'd heard a rumour ( Arabian Knights ) ths6t the group were splitting or had already done so.....hope it " was just a rumour " ; )

Hi mate. They said something about Saturday being their last gig in England so maybe they just don't want to do all the travelling any more as opposed to splitting up completely.

 

[dennishasdoneit]

Hi mate. They said something about Saturday being their last gig in England so maybe they just don't want to do all the travelling any more as opposed to splitting up completely.

Thanks for that. Just another reason to visit Scotland then I suppose.
I've met the lead singer a few times,actually danced with her to " Body Electric " by Sisters of Mercy after a gig by the Banshees at the greyhound Rock pub Beeston, notts...I've shared a fag with the original drummer years back ,and saw then twice at Rotherham in recent years
Always a great night out watching them play got a lot of time for the group

 

[hallsteve62]

"Body Electric" is a tune!

 

[dennishasdoneit]

"Body Electric" is a tune!

One of my fav tracks of all time by any band on the planet.
Was talking to Lizzie after a gig at Beeston, the j put Body Electric on , I said sorry gotta dance , dashed onto the dance Floor followed by Lizzie of the Banshees,who'd just finished playing a gig.and who obviously loved the track herself...it was an electric 4 minutes !!

 

[hallsteve62]

One of my fav tracks of all time by any band on the planet.
Was talking to Lizzie after a gig at Beeston, the j put Body Electric on , I said sorry gotta dance , dashed onto the dance Floor followed by Lizzie of the Banshees,who'd just finished playing a gig.and who obviously loved the track herself...it was an electric 4 minutes !!

3 minutes longer than I'd have lasted ; )

 

[remember arthur mann]

They used to say, grab a stiff whisky and listen to Quadrophenia. That would straighten you out. I didn't have the whisky but it could work both ways, begin listening wound up and finish relaxed, or start listening being calm and end up a dithering wreck.

 

[dennishasdoneit]

"Body Electric" is a tune!

It certainly is sir,Blues should be playing this loud on the train to Orient ( Xmal ).....; )

 

[PinkFinal]

I spent ten hours in A&E on Thursday night / Friday having turned up at 1.30am with suicidal feelings. There were dozens of people there , which I wasn't expecting.
At 11.30am I still had not been seen so went home.
I have rung the local NHS 24 hour telephone line. They've advised me to see my GP first. I don't see how a GP is best as first port of call.
Things are extremely tough. I have missed two gigs this last seven days I had tickets for because I couldn't bear to go out. I've been doing long walks but these only keep me calm for a while before the demons return.
I have my brother helping me but he can only do so much.

 

[mexico1970]

I spent ten hours in A&E on Thursday night / Friday having turned up at 1.30am with suicidal feelings. There were dozens of people there , which I wasn't expecting.
At 11.30am I still had not been seen so went home.
I have rung the local NHS 24 hour telephone line. They've advised me to see my GP first. I don't see how a GP is best as first port of call.
Things are extremely tough. I have missed two gigs this last seven days I had tickets for because I couldn't bear to go out. I've been doing long walks but these only keep me calm for a while before the demons return.
I have my brother helping me but he can only do so much.

That sounds awful for you mate, sincerely hope you get sorted. We shouldn't really be having this conversation because someone feeling suicidal should be seen right away any way.

 

[shackattack]

I spent ten hours in A&E on Thursday night / Friday having turned up at 1.30am with suicidal feelings. There were dozens of people there , which I wasn't expecting.
At 11.30am I still had not been seen so went home.
I have rung the local NHS 24 hour telephone line. They've advised me to see my GP first. I don't see how a GP is best as first port of call.
Things are extremely tough. I have missed two gigs this last seven days I had tickets for because I couldn't bear to go out. I've been doing long walks but these only keep me calm for a while before the demons return.
I have my brother helping me but he can only do so much.

Sorry to hear, presenting yourself to A&E with any mental health concerns should be reason alone to be seen immediately. I've had a truly shit 12 months plus now and keeping it together and doing the mundane things in life become more draining. Hope things work out for you

 

[wattle]

I spent ten hours in A&E on Thursday night / Friday having turned up at 1.30am with suicidal feelings. There were dozens of people there , which I wasn't expecting.
At 11.30am I still had not been seen so went home.
I have rung the local NHS 24 hour telephone line. They've advised me to see my GP first. I don't see how a GP is best as first port of call.
Things are extremely tough. I have missed two gigs this last seven days I had tickets for because I couldn't bear to go out. I've been doing long walks but these only keep me calm for a while before the demons return.
I have my brother helping me but he can only do so much.

Good you’ve got some support off your brother mate. That’s really important. My way out of what you’re going through was to read a lot of relevant material and to concentrate on doing at least three small act of kindness a day - even if they were scousers ;)
A book that really helped save me was “Reasons to Stay Alive” by Matt Haig. It’s brilliant and written by someone who was on the edge. I’d really recommend it mate.
Since then I’ve been using something called “The Six Minute Diary” It focusses on things like acts of kindness, good habits/routines, and positive affirmations (but not in a woo-woo touchy feely type of way) There is a 80 page explanation around the science of the books intentions that is excellent before you start filling it in. It’s changed my life and makes you feel good about the small gains in life which starts to re train your brain to think of good things rather than the bad things ALL the time!
I feel for you mate having been there myself, and no doubt I’ll be there again at some point in the future. Focus on the positive things in your life eg your love of music, your helpful brother etc. He wouldn’t be helping unless he cared for/loved you.
Hope this helps in some small way. PM me if you want to chat more.

 

[Bigga]

I spent ten hours in A&E on Thursday night / Friday having turned up at 1.30am with suicidal feelings. There were dozens of people there , which I wasn't expecting.
At 11.30am I still had not been seen so went home.
I have rung the local NHS 24 hour telephone line. They've advised me to see my GP first. I don't see how a GP is best as first port of call.
Things are extremely tough. I have missed two gigs this last seven days I had tickets for because I couldn't bear to go out. I've been doing long walks but these only keep me calm for a while before the demons return.
I have my brother helping me but he can only do so much.

First of all, I'm so glad you're completely aware of the space you're in. That's ALWAYS the first battle to win. Myself, I've been at a bridge before thoughts of my kids entered my mind and I pulled back. So, you have tremendous fight in you.

We love you for that.

I do wonder if Blues that live near enough to each other can meet up, work and life dependent and be that reach out for each other. Online is great and all, but it's not quite the same as turning up for a game of pool or a natter.

We can be isolated even in relationships.

I'm going through a relapse of an illness that almost killed me 16 years ago (only a few of you that met me back then might remember what I looked like, virtual bag of bones!), but the docs have caught it early this time. For me, I think it's stress induced from my Brother passing and being buried on Tues coming.

I tell myself with my job pressures of intensity making me exhausted and now being head of the fam (lost two older brothers now), I can't afford to be depressed, but I'm sure it will come back to the fore with a vengeance soon.

Keep going, buddy.

 

[Nebuchadnezzar]

I spent ten hours in A&E on Thursday night / Friday having turned up at 1.30am with suicidal feelings. There were dozens of people there , which I wasn't expecting.
At 11.30am I still had not been seen so went home.
I have rung the local NHS 24 hour telephone line. They've advised me to see my GP first. I don't see how a GP is best as first port of call.
Things are extremely tough. I have missed two gigs this last seven days I had tickets for because I couldn't bear to go out. I've been doing long walks but these only keep me calm for a while before the demons return.
I have my brother helping me but he can only do so much.

I always keep my eyes peeled for your posts in here. You're amongst our very best for honesty and openness and I encourage you to continue sharing. Wish I had answers for you, but just wanted you to know I do read your every post in this thread.