blue12
Well-Known Member
I saw a guy lying unconscious in my street yesterday. I tried doing the hand-only CPR the way Vinnie Jones showed me on the British Heart Foundation advert but by the time I found my Bee Gee's CD the **** was already dead.
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Joke thread
- Thread starter mrcunny
- Start date
gaudinho's stolen car
Well-Known Member
I think my dyslexic mate might be gay, but he's still in daniel.
T_Bone said:ACON result:
Nigeria 8 Ethiopia Didn't
What did they have ?? Finch and chimps or snake and pigmy pie ??
Bloke in sweden walks into a chemists and says to man behind counter "good morning I'd like some deodourant" man behind counter says " ball or aerosole??",Man says " Neither....it's for my armpits".
Bill
Moderator
samharris said:Bloke takes his goldfish to the vets and says to the vet " I think my Goldfish is epileptic",vet says " it looks alright to me"..bloke says "but you havent taken it out of the bowl yet" !!
funny this. made me roar.
JoeMercer'sWay
Well-Known Member
de niro said:samharris said:Bloke takes his goldfish to the vets and says to the vet " I think my Goldfish is epileptic",vet says " it looks alright to me"..bloke says "but you havent taken it out of the bowl yet" !!
funny this. made me roar.
calm down simba.
Bill
Moderator
JoeMercer'sWay said:de niro said:samharris said:Bloke takes his goldfish to the vets and says to the vet " I think my Goldfish is epileptic",vet says " it looks alright to me"..bloke says "but you havent taken it out of the bowl yet" !!
funny this. made me roar.
calm down simba.
says mowgli.
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says "Hello !" .
He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from.
So he says, 'Do you know me?'
To which she replies, 'I think you're the father of one of my kids.'
Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, 'Are you the stripper from the bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery?'
She looks into his eyes and says calmly, "No, I'm your son's teacher."
He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from.
So he says, 'Do you know me?'
To which she replies, 'I think you're the father of one of my kids.'
Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, 'Are you the stripper from the bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery?'
She looks into his eyes and says calmly, "No, I'm your son's teacher."
MCC
Well-Known Member
Apologies if already posted and no doubt a lot of you have received it in the past but it`s not a bad one from the rags.
Bobby Charlton was a guest of Roberto Mancini at the Etihad stadium last weekend. In the hospitality lounge at the end, Mancini asked, "Bobby, how do you think the current City team would fare against the Utd team of 1968?" Charlton replies, "I think it`d be a draw." Mancini walks away feeling very pleased with himself, when Charlton shouts across the room, "Mind you, we haven`t trained in 40 years, you blue twat!"
All good fun. We`ll be the ones laughing at the end of the season though!
Bobby Charlton was a guest of Roberto Mancini at the Etihad stadium last weekend. In the hospitality lounge at the end, Mancini asked, "Bobby, how do you think the current City team would fare against the Utd team of 1968?" Charlton replies, "I think it`d be a draw." Mancini walks away feeling very pleased with himself, when Charlton shouts across the room, "Mind you, we haven`t trained in 40 years, you blue twat!"
All good fun. We`ll be the ones laughing at the end of the season though!