Joke thread

my mate rang before saying he had the shits and his arse was killing! he asked me 'what yer reckon is wrong?' so i said 'ring sting' he replied 'whats that geordie **** know about anything<br /><br />-- Thu Apr 25, 2013 11:45 pm --<br /><br />my mate rang before saying he had the shits and his arse was killing! he asked me 'what yer reckon is wrong?' so i said 'ring sting' he replied 'whats that geordie **** know about anything
 
Carstairs said:
Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond.


By the end you wish you had a club and a spade.
Click to expand...
Quality
 
In the Style of Dean Martins ''Amore''

'When you live on a farm and you bite someones arm.
That's a Suarez!

When your forehead is wide and your teeth are offside,
That's a Suarez!

When you dive for a pen, over and over again,
That's a Suarez!

When your gums are so tight, like you've strained for a shite.
That's a Suarez!
 
Summer at last! Mini-skirt time at last!

I just love walking around the park with a gentle breeze caressing my balls.


My Grandad died from Asbestosis last year.

It took seven months to cremate him.
 
PSG are leading the race to sign Wayne Rooney and look set to offer him 250 Grans a week. #shagfest

Ken Barlow, Stuart Hall, Kevin Webster, Rolf Harris, Freddie Star, Jim Davidson... Tel you what, the prison pantomime is gonna be good this year!

Leigh and Las Vegas don't have much in common..
But they are the only two places in the world where you can pay for sex with chips
 
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