Joke thread
- Thread starter mrcunny
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i kne albert davy
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Why not radio 2 used it this morning so definitely in the public domain :-)
BackofJeanette
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BackofJeanette
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At the Iniskillin Winery warehouse the regular taster died, and the director started looking for a new one to hire.
A homeless street person, drunk and with a ragged, dirty look, came to apply for the position.
The director wondered how to send him away. They gave him a glass to drink.
The old ‘troller tried it and said, “It's a Muscat three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers. Low gradeacceptable.”
“That's correct,” said the boss amazed at the skill.“Another glass, please.”
“It's a cabernet, eight years old, south-western slope, oak barrels, matured at eight degrees. Requires three more years for finest results.”
“Absolutely correct. A third glass.”
He calmly said, “It's a pinot blanc champagne, high grade and exclusive.”
The director was astonished and winked at his secretary to suggest something. She left the room and came back in with a glass of urine.
The troller tried it. “It's a blonde, 26 years old, three months pregnant, and if I don't get the job, I'll name the father.”
A homeless street person, drunk and with a ragged, dirty look, came to apply for the position.
The director wondered how to send him away. They gave him a glass to drink.
The old ‘troller tried it and said, “It's a Muscat three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers. Low gradeacceptable.”
“That's correct,” said the boss amazed at the skill.“Another glass, please.”
“It's a cabernet, eight years old, south-western slope, oak barrels, matured at eight degrees. Requires three more years for finest results.”
“Absolutely correct. A third glass.”
He calmly said, “It's a pinot blanc champagne, high grade and exclusive.”
The director was astonished and winked at his secretary to suggest something. She left the room and came back in with a glass of urine.
The troller tried it. “It's a blonde, 26 years old, three months pregnant, and if I don't get the job, I'll name the father.”
The Earl of Abington
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Neighbour's (or even neighbours') but not neighbours.
Beswick Prize Bands Big Drum
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Good point.
Keep the Faith
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balotellishaircut
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A beautiful young woman is standing at the edge of a cliff preparing to jump off. A homeless drunk stops by and mumbles to her “if your about to kill yourself how about a quick shag before you go “
The woman screams “ No fuck off you filthy old bastard “
The tramp turns to leave and says “ No worries, I’ll just go and wait at the bottom then “
The woman screams “ No fuck off you filthy old bastard “
The tramp turns to leave and says “ No worries, I’ll just go and wait at the bottom then “
Well Wisher
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...so did he save her life? I haven't seen anything in the news.