Joke thread

[Blue Mist]

Serious question, why can't women tell jokes ? They have no sense of timing and they usually get the punchline wrong. I was in the pub last night and my mates wife wanted to tell us all this really funny joke......
A bloke went into a chip shop and asked for a steak and kidney pie.
The woman behind the counter said 'sorry we only have cheese and onion'
The bloke replied its OK I came in the car'

 

[mancity2012_eamo]

Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac who lay awake all night wondering if he was a dog!

Close, but no cigar.

 

[Gabriel]

When I said butter, I actually meant ghee. I should have clarified…

 

[dronefromsector7G]

City

 

[Tuearts right boot]

Fucking Karens have no chill.

View attachment 38914

Do you think she does calculator covers

 

[LWashington]

OK, the bloke wants a steak and kidney pie -yes ?
The woman behind the counter says they only have... cheese and onion, fortunately its not a problem because the bloke came on his bike.

Obvious really as people who have sex with bicycles, don't usually give a shit about what flavour pie they eat afterwards.

 

[LWashington]

The bloke replied its OK I came in the car'

People who go dogging don't give that much of a shit either.

 

[Nellies left peg]

Do you think she does calculator covers

No but willy warmers are a tenner each

 

[LWashington]

Do you think she does calculator covers

No, but she once hummed Candy Girl by New Addition.

 

[Mid Wales blue]

City

That goal fuck up, was certainly the joke of the day.

 

[JASR]

Do you think she does calculator covers

Why, do you need to work out much you can squirrel away?

 

[Hayley Croppers chopper]

I wouldn't say boo to a goose. I have Tourettes , so I'd tell the **** to fuck off.

Haha

 

[SPIDERBOY]

Why do women always start a conversation,shouting...."YOUR NOT EVEN LISTENING,ARE YOU"?

 

[Citizen of Legoland]

Why do women always start a conversation,shouting...."YOUR NOT EVEN LISTENING,ARE YOU"?

I’ve never noticed!

 

[dickie davies]

This really did make me laugh

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

Why do women always start a conversation,shouting...."YOUR NOT EVEN LISTENING,ARE YOU"?

You’re

x

 

[Bill Walker]

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft.

Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

Parents in Wales are no longer entitled to smack.

Dealers in Merthyr and Newport are said to be buzzing with the news.

 

[JASR]

The Blitz Generation

Volume 22!

 

[goalmole]

Volume 22!

It's clearly a popular pastime.