Joke thread

[Uwe Already]

Please tell me you got that out of a cracker.

Thought it should ave been, but read it online along with this beauty:

I wasn’t allowed alcohol when I took my calculus course - you’re not allowed to drink and derive

 

[Fred_Quimby]

For the scientist amongst you.

Screw dislocations.

 

[dickie davies]

A man walks in the doctors with jelly in one ear and custard in the other’ how can I help you said the doctor, you’ll have to speak up said the man I’m a trifle death

If he was dead, how did he talk with the doctor?

 

[manclad]

Thought it should ave been, but read it online along with this beauty:

I wasn’t allowed alcohol when I took my calculus course - you’re not allowed to drink and derive

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician ??
He worked it out with a pencil !!

 

[Indaparkside]

If he was dead, how did he talk with the doctor?

Through Colin fry

 

[Le Havre Oswald]

I've got a really good one but its quite bad and dont wanna get banned

 

[jimharri]

I've got a really good one but its quite bad and dont wanna get banned

If you have doubts about it, go with your gut instinct.

 

[Barcon]

If you have doubts about it, go with your gut instinct.

Splitter.

 

[peoffrey]

If it makes you laugh then it’s funny. Have a go!

 

[BimboBob]

I've got a really good one but its quite bad and dont wanna get banned

Go for it.

 

[TFC]

My wife left me because I’m too insecure.

No wait, she’s back! She just went to make a cup of tea.

 

[TFC]

Dads are like boomerangs.

I hope...

 

[dickie davies]

Dads are like boomerangs.

I hope...

Bent!

Your dad is Michael Oliver and I claim my prize

 

[Bluethemaway]

The Premier league is run fairly.

 

[crazyg]

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician ??
He worked it out with a pencil !!

When I was at school it was logs, not a pencil.

 

[RadcliffeRick]

When I was at school it was logs, not a pencil.

Catholic school??

 

[Beswick Prize Bands Big Drum]

The Premier league is run fairly.

Funniest thing I've heard all year.

 

[KS55]

When I was at school it was logs, not a pencil.

Slide rule was more exciting...

 

[manclad]

When I was at school it was logs, not a pencil.

When I was at school Grover Cleveland was president!!!

 

[Big Swifty]

A young woman goes to the doctors complaining of trouble down below.

The doctor examines her and says "You have an unusually large an deep vagina"

She says "All right, but you don't have to say it twice"

The doctor replies: "I didn't".....